My Immortal 2 : Revange Of Da Bark Lurd
by SweetRosebud
Summary: Approved sequel to Tara Gillespie's page turner from the director of My Immortal, the motion picture. My Immortal movie: /watch?v JZzfICfSFTE&list UUh8Cvqumoc-kLgXlbT0MUTw&index 5&feature plcp Enjoy
1. Chapter 1 Da Rooins

Chapter 1

Mist swirled round dis goffick castle, the moon was all big and goffick bats flied around. Suddenly black shaows fell from da sky and turned into people, but dey weren't goffs, dey were the Death Dealers!11! Draco's dad, Snoop and Beltrix went into de castle, der was dis tomb thing and dey broke it open using there magic. A preppy man with no nose was lying dead in it, he was rapped in a blak cloak, it was…... Volxedmort!11! The Death Dealers unrapped deh cloak and Snap took his own robe off and pulled his you-know-what out, the dork mark was on it. The death dealers used magic around snope's you-know-what and Voldymort.

Draco's dad and snope made a vow dat snoop would now have da dork lurd in his you-know-what and would help him too get borned.

I crid out sexly as I woke up in my coffin, Darco was in my coffin with me, he lokked pure sexah, his eyeliner all down round his closed eyes. I shuk him til he woked. "You luk sexh," Drako misted, "Is der anthing wrong?" he asked, "I had a vison of volbemort!" I muttered wisely, "Enoby," he leered kindly, "it wus just a bad dream." "Oh Draco, your right." I smiled sensibly, I put my hed on his sex pack (geddit. Cos hes vera sexh) an I wen bak to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2 Entre Da Preps

Chapter 2

I woke up agin, this time it was moring. Draco ahd gone bak to his room and Willow's coffin lid was closed. I gut up and got dressed. I wore goffic blak and red platinum boots, ripped fisnets, an balck corset wit red lace at the bottom of it. I paintd my nails blak with pentgrams in red. I put my hare all round me and put red die in. I put on loads of baklc eyeliner on and balkc lipsik.

Den Willow opened her coffin and smelled at me, she opend her sea gren eyes and got up. "I herd you and Darko last nigt." She said as she got dressed (she doent mind me watch cos we are both bi), "Yeh, we had fun," I gruned. Willow wore a blak MCR t-shirt with Gerrard Way on it with a blcka an purple lacy goff mini skrit, she had blck congress shoes and she had loads of eyeliner. "You look kawii girl," I aprreichated wen she was done, "fangz bitch!" she relpied. Den we went down to de grate hall, I saw darko sitting alon at de Goff table, hw lokked vera deprezzed and I sat next to him, Willow shat next to me and Dark'ness and B'loody Mary sat apentagram from us (gettit, instead of cros!11!). "Whas the mater Drako?" I askd, my goffik hand rapped in his, he was wearing skinny jens dat where blak, congress shoes, a Gurn Dey t-shit and lotsa eyeliner. "Vampir." Darco ejaculated angriy, "were's he?" asked B'loody Mary, Darko lokked towards the prep grifyndor table, we all looked ovr too, der was Vampire… ….sittin with da preps!1111!11!1!


	3. Chapter 3 : Crookshanks!

Chapter 3

I ran ovar to the prep table, Vampir was sittin with the preps called Britney, Hannah and Mark. Vampire was wearing his glasses agin, a basball cap, a hody, jens and traners, he lokked lik such a prap. Britny was wearin a cherleders outfit, Hannah and Mark where wering band t-shirts for shity prep bands deh Smiths and Orchestra Manovers in De Drac. Mark smelled up at me, he wuz wearin dum neerd glasses, "Hello Ebony," he greted, he obvs wantd meh, "Eww! Shut up you prepy perv!" I shooted, I truned to vampire, "Vampire! Wht our you doing wit des preps!" "ma nam is Harry," he tuned, "I want to tran to be an auror istead of cutin myself!" Vampir smiled, I cont blive what he was sayin, "Vampire, you prep!11!" I scramed, all my frnds cam over, "Cuttin youslef and ben goffick is deh only important thing in lif!" lended Willow.

Vampire loookd angy and den Britney stated to laugh at us goffs. B'loody Mary glard at her, then she puled out her wound "Crookshanks!" Britney felled to deh floor and strtd to cry. Us goffs laughed cos we're sadsts. "leav my friends alone!" Vampire shooted at B'loody Mary, Draco had tearsin his eyes, "oh Vampre, I though you loved meh." (aren't sensitive bi guys so hot? Homophons arw preps!11!) "I ded love you Draco," Vampire wimsed, "I luved Eboby too, but yous never had time for meh, my new frinds hav time for meh." I startd to cry sexy tears of blud. Hnanah was starring at me, wit her preppy legwarmers and blue eyeshadrow. "whats it you prep?11!" I glowed at her, she roled her prepy gren eyes, "Harrys are frind now, he's board of bein a goff." Mark smiled, "Plus, hes datin Britney now." Britny puled herself off deh floor and smeelld cruly. I puled out my wand, Dark'ness put hr hand on my arm, "Dey are not worth you awsom sexness Enoby," "Your rite," I struned to her, "Well get dem bak latr" Darco said as we walked towards th door of the greta hall. B'loody Mary gasped, den I saw what she was lokking at… a poster for…a MCR consert in Hogsmed! Then I know what I culd do to get Vampir bak….


	4. Chapter 4: Da plan

Chapter 4

It was the next day an I told Daroc dat we shuld invite Vapire to the MCR consrt wit us,

"dat is the must amazing thing I has eva herd Enoby, you are so cleva and beutifil and sexah," he stroked,

"Satn made me dis way, but it does hav so many donsides darko, now Mark must be in lov wit me," I curdled,

"Indead (geddit, cos I'm goffic and I lik deff!11!)," stranded Dracon, "I herd de way he speaked to you, he was expertly flirtin."

"Oh Dracof, he failed, you are the ony man for meh, anyways Marks a perp and probas doesn't know who MCR are!" I fended, Drako nodded, he was wearing a MCR t-shirt, congress shows, sexah jeans and whit foundation, even thought he wuz already plae. I was wearing long lace gloves, a necklace with darco's face on it, dis sexah corset dres dat shows my nice bobs and des red platinum boots.

We fund Vampir outside with his praps, dey were listenin to dis strang prep music on dis weird machin with a needle and a spinnin dics that wuz realla big.

"What deh fuck are you listenin too and wat is that stupid machin?" Draco hounded,

Mark luked up, "we are listenin to deh Smiths and dis is a record playa."

"You music is prepy and stupid, you shuld listen to MCR!11!" I crowed. "Oh," drawled Hannah, "we don't lik MCR, dey are boring and emo, I lik Adam Ant."

I starred her in deh face, "I dunt know who dat is, derfore dey must be stupid and prepy!"

"Well," chirped Mark, "he's a 1980s….."

"how deh fuck can you listn to dat old shit!" holdered Draco, den he turned to Vampire, "Vampir! Com see MCR wi us tnight!"

"My name is Harry," moaned Vampire, " and I'm going to see Siouxsie Sioux wit my nuw firnds!"

Draco rapped vampire, "You are….. a prap!"


	5. Chapter 5: tru luv

Chapter 5

Willow, B'loody Mary, Dark'ness and meh where in ma room getteh redy fro deh MCR concrt, we all ahd our MCR t-shirts on. I also had a ledder mini skrit dat was blkac and des ledder bots dat reched my nees, I had black eyehsadow, red lipskit and lotz eyeliner and wjhit foundation. Willow had a goffick red srit wit a slit up it wit lotas lace and riped fishnets and congress shoes. B;loody Mary had dis goff tite skirt dat was redn really short, she had red platinum boots to. Dark'ness had her hairs all up in a messy bun and dis short skrit wit red lace and balck.

"You all look kawii bitchs!" I fused to ma finds,

"not as kawii as you dos Ebony!" Dark'ness sed.

Dark'ness used to be culled Jinny, but den she truned Goff and dired her hair balck, she neva went out wit vampire, as she new dat all along he nly likes meh, dis is why she is helping to geh him bak.

Den Drako cam in wit Diabolo and Dracula. Deh akl had MCR t-shits and Darco was wearing des jens dat wer blkac and sexah wit his congress shews. He tik me in his arms. I luked up to hez deprezzed eyes, den he kissed meh, he srtated too pull my cloths off and I puled him ova to my coffin and I sexily tuk his cloths off, we kissed passively, Willow, B'loody Mary, Dark'ness, Diabolo and Dracla watced, theh boys loked turned on, cos dey are bi. Den Drako put his you-know-what into my you-no-were,

"Oh darko!" I scramed passively as we had an organism. Den we gut out of deh coffin and we got dressed, I wore a red and balck MVCR t-shrt wit a ledder mini and ldder boats, my hair was all sexah from doing you-know-what wit draco.

Darcp and I wen outsid, were his car wuz, it waz an awsoem blkca rollsroyse wit huge wheels, we both got in and smoked some drugs. Dsrco loked so sexah wit all his eyeliner and his deprezzed eyes, den we droved to de concert and we wen up to the mosh pit, wen Gerrard cam on stage I almost had an organism he was so hot. Draco and I moshed, but he noted dat I lokked drpezzed.

"was da matter Eboby?" he printed, I started to cry sexah ters of blood,

"OH drake, I wish dat vampire was her instead of at de perp concert!" I nettled, ma deprezzed eyes luking into his, MCR where playin the cronicls of lif and deff and I rembered when draco and I met, Vampir was trying to ruin everythin now.


	6. Chapter 6: Hairgrid  1 111!

Chapter 6

HAIRGRID'S POINT OF VIEW!11!

I saw Ebony with Darco, I had followed dem to de concert. I had put on eyeliner, a MCR t-shrit and jens and she stil neva noticed meh, she wuz so beautiful, I luved her body an her face, de deprezzed understndin in her sexah eyes, I wanted her, but I had finlilly accepted dat she would neva luve meh, she wuz too good for meh, so dat nigt at the concery I decided I would no longer preend to b a goff.

I left the consert early and got may phone out, I culled up de misery of mugic,

Rumbridge answered, "hello, wat de fuck do you want?" she assed,

"ma name is Hairgrid and I wana rport dumbleydore for having altziemers and being old!" I told her,

"dat is a vera important conern," she said, "we will arrest him soons." She hung up and I smelled, Dumblydore had made most of de skull (geddit) want to be goffs, I hud to get rid of him for his evol crimes.

It wuld be grate wen the mystery got rid of dumblelore everythin wold be de way it shuld be.


	7. Chapter 7: Mussagez  11!

Chapter 7

ebony's poiny of view!11!

De concert wuz so good that I 4got about Vampire for a wile. Darco took meh back to the skull (gettit) afer the concert and we did it in his arc while listening to marlin mason.

De next moring I put on a sexy tite low-smut black leather goffic dress. It had red korset stuff and there was a silt up de leg. I went down to de great hal and started to eat my corn flakes wit blud, when I lokked over abd saw Vampir wit his praps. Dey were eating dat preppy cerel coco pops. Vampir was smiling wile shitting next to britey, he wuzn't wearing make-up and he lukked like such a prep, I wuz so grossed by dis sight dat I spilt corn flakes all over myself. I ran out of the room cryin tears of blood, then suddenly I ran into…. Snoop!111!

"What de fuk are you doin here again!" I shouldered at him,

"Dumblydore let Loopin and I becom teachers again as de Mystery of Magir let uz out of azkrban!" Snipe rendered,

"If you do anything like you did last yer, I will report you to Dumblore!" I treated,

"The Bark Lord has more plans than I have video tape." Snap saud cruley,

"What a prep!" I screamed, "I killed the Dork Lurd!" Snope smilled evily and glced down at himself, b4 walkin away. I wuz confused by dis and I wen up the my room. I saw a pice of paper lying on my coffin, It wuz a letter…. From…vampire!


	8. Chapter 8: Da Misery of Mogic

Chapter 8

I piked up the letter, it was typed up it said: dear butiful Enoby, please met meh in de Forbiden Forst at 11, love you eternally Vampire Potter.

I new dat vampire wuld try and get wit meh again, I luked at my goffick wall clock, it wuz 9:30 in deh morning so I had lodz time to go and met him. I changed into a goffick korset dat was black and red wit real vampire blood on it, den I remember dat I had class wit professer sinister.

I ran sexily to de class room and wen I got in, every1 was already sitting duwn and I sat next to B'loody Mary, all the preps started at me, so I just put up my middle finger. Vampire was sitting next to Britmey and he was talking to the preps Hannah and Mark who were sitting behind him.

"konichiwa everyone!" professer sinister said, she smeled at me and B'loody Mary, den she noticed Mark, Hannah, Vampire and Britney talking,

"hey you preps!" sinister said, "you have detention for talking in class!" Britney started to cry and Vampir conformted her. I went to tell B'loody Mary about de letter that I had gut from vampirwe when suddenly proffeser sinister said dat we all had rto go down to de grate hall for a vera important anocement.

De hole class walked down to the hall I chatted to my frinds about the best parst of being goffick and why we were better than every1else.

We akll sat down at de goff table and we saw a familiar some1 walk up 2 de front of the hall and stand at that eagle thing rhat dumblelore uses to make speeches, it was….. rumbridge!1111!


	9. Chapter 9: Bertrayl

Chapter 9

"Oh my satan!" wisperd B'loody Mary, Drako looked angry,

"what is the mystery o mogic doing here again?" he fused.

"I don't know," I ingested wisely. Rumbride started to speak,

"Dumbylore was to old and he has now been sented to azcabann, de knew hedmaster of the hogwars will be Snoop and de second in command will be Loopin!"

I looked at Draco in disgust,

"you can't make him headmaster, he's a prep!" I screamed at rumbrideg, all the preps in gryfindor cheered about dis, cos they are preps and dey lik preps like Lumpkin and Snope. Den we all had to leave de great hall and I went up to my rum, I luked at the cock and it said 5 to 11,

"oh shit," I swiged meekly, "I have to met up wit Vampire!"

I went down the stares and out into deh forbiden Forset!

"vampire! Were is you?" I screamed sexily as I walked past de goffick trees, den I cam to a clearing in de forest, I saw him standing der, he wuz wearing des preppy cloths dat lokked to big for him.

"Vampire, wut do you wunt?" I asked as I walked towards him, he smiled strangly,

"We need you Enoby," he leered at me,

"what are you talking bout, you prep?" I retched at him, he smiled again and he lened in to kiss meh, I dudn't want to kiss him, but I did, his face feeled strange under my hands, wen I puled away from him and looked at him agin, he had changed, he wusn't vampire amore, it was…. LOOPIN!111!


	10. Chapter 10: Da Ruturn 11!

Chapter 10

Fangz 4 da ruviuws, u r all goffick and I luv u all!111!1!

I jumped bak in shok!11! I had just kissed Lumpkin!11!

"Noooooo!" I scramed and I spat onto the groud of da forst.

"pollyjuice potion is vera useful!" Loopin sneered, I turned around and de Death Dealers where there! Snap came up to me and puled his robe off, he had the durk murk on his you-know-what,

"Ew!" I muttered, "whatre you doing?" I saw dat poser bitch Beltrix staring at me all gross. Snap was hung like a stallone, but I stil didn't want the have you-know-what with him, I saw Draco's dad standing there,

"lucius!" I brawled, "you can't be eviled! You are Draco's dad!"

He smelled a creppy smile, "I am vera sorry young eboby, but I is a Death Dealer!" I gasped, that creep poser Beltrix camed over to meh and said

"deh Dork Lurd must be reborned and you will help," she looked like such a poser,

"You prep!1!" I gurged at her, she smiled and den Snape moved towards meh,

"It is time for deh Bark Lord to be conceived!"


	11. Chapter 11: Bak wit Darko

Chapter 11

I woked up in deh hospital wing and da only thing I culd rember from the prevus day was meting Vampire in da Forest, I culdn't rember anything else. Darco was shitting next to my bed,

"OMG! Drake! Is anyring wrong wit meh?" I pruned wisely,

"Nah eboby, it's just we found you sleeping in deh Foribeon Fotest and we thought dat you wuz hurt!" Draco said with a smile, "can you rember what you wuz doing der?"

"well…" I plondered subtly, "I gut a note from Vampir… telling meh to met him in deh Forbidden Forst, that's all I rember!" Darco thought for a minute, den he loked at meh wit his sexah eyes,

"Dat prep Vampire must have tried to hurt yeh babe."

"I know," I worded, "He must stil like meh, everh1 does!"

"Yes," draco looked angry, "if he wanted you dat badly, he shuld hav spoken to us!"

"Oh Darko, we must show dat stupd prep dat he has messed wit de wrong goffs!11!"


	12. Chapter 12: Vampir, ter Prep 11!

Chapter 12

I gut out of de hospital bed and darco and I wen to my room, he watched meh as I got changred,

"Oh Enoby, you look so sexah," he lamped, I saw a huge bulge in his trouers.

"we can't do it nuw, we hav other things to do!" I cruised as I stod there in my leadder bar and pants. Darko sighed as I got dressed into a sexah Goffick korset dat was black wit skulls on it and I has fishnets dat were riped and fukin awesome black platinum boots!

"Now dacro, we haff to go an see Vampire and ask him why he sen meh dat letter!" I booked epicly,

"yes," replied Drcao, as we wakled out da door and to outside, I saw Vampir wit his preps, dey where listening to music on dat prepy machine again, Hannah wuz trying to dance wi Vampire, dey had der arms around each other's wastes and where swayin to eht preppy musics. Mark and Britney where sitting on the ground and laughin.

"vampire!" I shooted, "what the fuk r you doin?"

"My name is Harry!" he telegraphed, "Hannah and I are dancing to Goodah 2 Shoes!"

"That music," pondered Draco, looking at the prep machine, "is for preps."

"and every1 noes," I added, "dat you shuld listen 2 music on ipuds!"

Mark shrugged, "I think vinyl has a warmer sound," he smiled in a smug preppy way, I glared at him, den at Hannah and Vampire, who contiuted to sway.

"Abra Kedabras!" I shooted wit my wound out and the machine blue up and so did all de disks dey had,

"My record player!" wailed Mark, Hannah and Vampire stopped dancing,

"My record collection!" Hannah swopped,

"You'll pay you posers!" she screeched, "there's a duelling club starting 2moro and I will hsow you!"

"I dun't care," I said sexly, "anyways, vampire y did u send meh dat letter?"

"Wat letter?" he asked, lokking confuneded,

"Yoooou sent Enoby a letter sayin to met her in da forbiden forest, den we found her lyin in deh forst!" Draco impruded, Vampire lokked confuse still, Britney got off deh ground,

"he culdn't hav sent deh leter cos he was wif us deh whole time!" Mark and Hannah leered at meh and Darko and we turned around to leave,

"see you at the duelling club, posers!" Mark called after us.


	13. Chapter 13: Beltrix

Chapter 13

Afer wat hafd happened outsid, I got deprezzed and went and cut ma rists and red a sad bok whiel waitig 4 it to stop bleeding. Den suddenly ma window broke and in flew…. Belltrix!11!

She landed on deh grund next to meh,

"ew, what are you doin hear you poser?" I asked of her,

she smiled and shok her hed, "I'm not a posr," she said softly, her eyes lokeing up and down me,

"You are loking beautifull as always Enoby," she said as she looked at meh, she put one of her hands on my arm,

"I heard somewere dat you are interested in girls," she muttered miserly, as she stared in my eyes, den she lened towards meh, her hand on meh arm,

"may I?" she asked, her preppy eyes glittered, I starred at her, before pushing her away,

"Ew, you perv! I'm not a lesbeen, I'm only bi!" I shooted, she lened away from meh,

"you culd still be a death dealer," she leered wisely,

"Why deh fuk wuld I do dat, the barek lurd is ded," I annocued with pride,

"No," said beltrix, her eyes full of joys, "deh dork lord is growing agin,"

"wat deh fuk, get out of ma rum or I will get my frinds to hurt you!" I shooted. Beltrix blewed me a kiss and flew away.

I felt tired so I had to shit down, I felt pains in ma stomach, so I got into ma coffin and wen to sleep…

I had a drem, I was standing in ma rum, den someone cam in my window and dey stud infront of meh, it was volxemort!111! he rapped himself around meh and whispered to meh,

"THOU SHALL GIVITH BIRTH TO ME!" and I culdn't push him away he cluged so tite to meh. I felt pains in ma stomach and I new what was wrong….


	14. Chapter 14: Duling 11!

Chapter 14

Fangz 4 da reviws, u r all goffick and I luv u all, I'm glud u r nut flammin, cos dat is 4 praps and I wuld kill u 4 being a prep!111!

I got out of ma coffin the nexy morning, I saw Willow was already gone, so I culdn't tell her about what haf happened, so I put on black skinny jens, a korset top dat was black and lots of eyeliner, I went down to de grate hall and I saw dat all deh tables had ben moved and deh duelling club had been seted up, it was deh goffs against deh preps.

I wuz on deh Goff team wit darko, b'loody mary, dark'ness and Willow. The prep tem was Vanpire, Hannah, Mark, Britney and Snap.

Deh first duel was Darko against Vampir, it wuld hav ben really hot if vampire wasn't such a prep, darjo was dressed all hot in his jens, mcr t-shirt and congress shoes, vampire lokked like such a prep in his hody, jens, trainers and t-shirt dat wasn't off mcr, it was of some dumb band called Joy Devision. Vampir tried to use some spells, but he was no match 4 deh awesome goffness of darko, darko had him nocked to deh floor in like 10 seconds. All deh goffs chered and all deh preps lokked really angry. Snap said dat Willow had to duel Britney, briteny was all preppy and was wearing pink and she was wearing normal jens dat wearnted skinny and she was wearing a t-shirt and pumps, her wound was so preppy and pink. Willow was wearing a black and red striped corset dress and des awsom fishnets and fuking blaakc platinum boots. Willow showed deh prep wat deh real duelling was and made fun of her for being all preppy, it wuz really gud, and den Willow used "abra kedavra!" and den Britney fell to deh grund ded. All deh goffs chaered and deh preps lokked all shocked, Vampir lokked like he was going to faint, but deh duels had to go on and I was put against dat prep Hannah.

She was wearing grey high heels, red legwamers, a strippy dress, a grey waistcoat and dis jacket wit padded shoulders, she luked like such a prep. She wuz wearing loads of eyesharrow, but it wuz brit gren so she lukked like a prep and not a goth, she pulled out her wand and I pulled out mine, she smilled at meh wit her preppy red lips, she jumped up and down 3 times on deh spot and tuk up dis preppy poose,

"abra kedabre!" I shooted, she bluked it and smiled, taking a little preppy bow,

"oh I know one," she laughed,

"crookshanks!" suddenly dis blue preppy magic hit meh and I screamed sexly and I feel to da floor, Hannah laughed and gave Mark a high 5, I culdn't get up off deh grund, I had lust to a prep.

I sat up on deh grund and starred at deh preppy bitch, she laughed and snnered at meh,

"hey Harry," she smiled, "what did you think of dat?" Vampire walked over to her and looked her in deh eye, it luked like he was going to kiss her, he slowly raised his hand….. and slaped her across deh face!

All deh goffs cheered,

"Ma nam is Vampire!" he sneered, as Hannah had glared at him. Vanpire walked ova to meh and helped meh up,

"I'm so sorry Eboby!" he crisped,

"You must be!" I replied,

B'loosy Mary came over, "But what about Britnety?" she asked,

"Oh I never liked her that much anyway!" he laughed, I lukked over at deh 2 remaining preps and dey lukked so annoyed at meh, prpbably cos I'm so amazing. Draco n Willow cam over and congratulated us, den we all wen up to deh common rum to get away from deh preps, we played wit our band for a while, den I wen to ma rum to get a rest. Den suddenly I remembered athat I ment to tell my frinds something, I wen to go, but den someone burst through ma window, it was Beltrix!11!


	15. Chapter 15: Lusing Da Goffs

Chapter 15

She landd on the grund on fromt of meh,

"awww, was der something you ment to tell ur goffs?" she leered,

"how did u no?" I gappered,

"I also hav deh telekanisis!" she laughed, "you culd still com away wit meh and be a Death Dealer, after all, you where chosed for a vera special purpose, you has deh bark lurd in yous."

"no, you preppy bitch!" I shouted, I rembered wat happened, Snoop had had you-know-what wit meh, I wuz preggers wit volxmort! Den suddenly deh door brust open and in cam Vampire, Darko, B'loosy Mary, Dark'ness and Willow, Belltrix grabbed her brum and flew away,

"What was all that?" asked Dark'ness,

"I hav something to tell you all," I said wit tears in my eyeses,

"Wat is it eboby?" b'loody Mray asked, lokking while concerned about meh.

Tears of blud started to roll down ma palid face,

"Ebony, what is it?" asked Vampire. I cried more,

"Ebony, tell us!" Drako insisted," I shojke my hed,

"Ebonny, we're worried," Willow said, I sobbed a bit,

"I-i-i-," I started,

"Yes?" Willow said,

"I'm pregnant!" I shooted,

"dat's impossible!" Draco stated,

"it's not your's!" I warbled,

"YOU ARE A POSER SLUT!" Vampir shooted,

"lemme expain!" I weeeped, but they were all leaving, calling meh bad names, dey closed deh door behing dem and I fell to deh floor and started to slit meh rists, I had finlly acpted it, I wuz going to give bithr to deh Durk Lurd Volbemurt.


	16. Chapter 16: Hulp From Cargrid

Chapter 16

All ma frinds had lesft meh, so I had to trun to deh only person I had left, Hairgrid. I fund him in deh girl's bathroom.

"Hey Hairgrid!" I called,

"Oh hi, Eboby!" he said happily,

"Something terrible has happened!" I told him,

"OH Enoby, I did something really bad," Hairgrid told meh,

"we shuld share our problems," I said wit a smile,

"wat is urs?" I asked,

"nah, you tell first!" he mused nervously,

"okay," I annocuced, "I am pregnant wit de Bark Lurd!"

"Wut?" puzzled cargrid, "well, I repored Dumblylore to deh mystery of mogic cos he wuz old and I thought dat the skull (gettit) wuld get better wit out him, but things are worse, cos deh Snoop is realy strict and all,"

"yeah," I relied, "we shuld get dumblydore bak!"

We left deh gril's batrum 2gether and we went to deh grate hall, I sat wit hairgrid cos ma frinds didn't lik meh, I saw dat darko wuz sliting his rists and I felt all deprzzed.

"darko!" I called over to him, "I wuz raped by snope! I didn't want to he's a ropist!"

"Oh my satan!" Draco fused, "he did dat to meh last yer!" all my frinds ran ova to meh and said sorry for nut belivin meh,

"I'm goin to give birth to deh dork lurd! We ned to get dumblydor bak!" I pruned, ma friends agred.

"oh Eboby," Draco nassed, "I tought dat you had cheted on meh!"

Deh preps were all laughing at us for being goffick, so we went up to the common room and practiced wit my band Bloody Gothic Rose 666, we were really gud and we chatted for a while abouit my we ned dumbleylore bak.

Den I went to ma coffin and I wen to sleep and I had a vison in my drame!11! It wuz Volzexmort!1!1!


	17. Chapter 17: 4givenes

Chapter 17

Moldyvort was laughing in dis dark room wit his Death Dealers!1! He wuz tealing them of his knew evil plan!11! He laughed, "I shallt destroth all of the goffs, then I shallt be victorious!111"

All deh Death Dealers laughed wit Volzexmort. I screamed sexily as I woke up, dis was the most evil thing that Vollymort had ever done!

I woked up Willow and we all went down to the grate hall, I sat with Diabolo, Willow, B;loody Mary, Drako,Dark'ness, Vampire and Dracula. I wuz wearing dis awesome red korset wit black lace and ribbons on it with pink fishnets and puple boots. Willow wore dis flor length low smut black korste dress wit these long purple govles. B'loody Mary wore a green day t-shirt, that wuz black and red and all goffick, she had pentagrams painted on her nails and wuz wearing a tite skirt. Dark'nes wuz wearing a Gerard wai t-shirt as a dress wit riped black fishnets and red platinum boots. I wuz wearing my necklace wit Draco's face on it again.

Draco wuz wearing a Marlin Mason t-shirt wit black skinny geans and congress shoes, he wuz wearing lotz of messy eyeliner and he lokked rellly hawt! Diabolo wuz wearing a MCR t-shirt wit ledder trusers and congress shows, Dracula wuz wearing fishnets on his arms, a pentagram t-shirt, skinny jens dat where balck and congress shoes, Vampire wuz lokking all hot and goffick again cuz he wuz not wearing hs glasses anymore, he wore colored red contacts abnd lotz of messy eyeliner that wuz all down his face, he loked so hot, he wuz wring red skinny jens, wut a top wit my face and it, cus he loves meh.

I wuz eating count chocula wit blud cos I'm a vampire and I get all week if I don't drink enough, I had been needing to drink moar blood because I wuz feeling rella tired all the time and I think that it wuz because I wuz pregnant.

"I had a horrivble vision in my dream last night!" I told my friends,

"what wuz it about?" asked Darco and I saw the drepessin in his eyes and he luked so sexah,

"Well," I crooned, "It wuz de Bark Lurd and he said dat he wuz going to get rid of all deh goffs, because we are de only things stopping him, because we are more powerful than every1 else!" B'loody Mary lukked really worried,

"we haff to stop him Enoby, we will need you espically!" She mooed, I nodded luking all sexah and concerned.

Suddenly Snope went up to deh eagle thing were dumblewhlore gives his speeches in the films and he started to talk.

"I am pleased to annoce that the extreme goff band, My Chemal Romence has been banned due to a new law made by the mystery of mogic, instead you will all have to listen to prep bands and for the Christmas movie this year, instead of the hardcore goffick the nitemare b4 Xmas, we will be watching the Grinch." All us goffs booed at Snap, all the preps in Grifandoor cheered.

"Snoop! You are a prep!" we all screamed,

"Silence! You mediocre Dunces!" he truned bak at us.

"this is terrible!" Diabolo fused at us, "we must gte Albert Dumblelore bak from Azcabun!"


	18. Chapter 18: my 2nd gret plan 11 11!

Chapter 18

My friends and I where satnding in a cordor trying to make a plan to get Dumbydore bak, when I Cairgrid walk past us,

"Oh my Satan!" I screamed,

"What is it?" asked B'loody Mary,

"all this is Hairgrid's fault!"

"Why?" puzzled Dark'ness,

"Because he reported Dumblelire to the Mystery of Mugic!" I howled, I heard Drako snarl at Hairgrid,

"Hey, you guys!" cegrid smiled lokking at us, then faster than lights, draco grabbed him and dragged him over to us an dwe all raped him because we are satnists!

"oh you Satanists!" Hairgrid howled as we all raped him and laughed at him, he wuz such a prep. Then we finally stopped and we made him say sorry,

"I am sorry for being nan inconvence and sending dumbelylore to azkdban!" he sobbed before running away.

I smelled at my frinds,

"how are we going to get to ascaban?" Vampire fluttered.

"don't worry," I paused, "I know what too do!"


	19. Chapter 19: Azcabun

Chapter 19

I pulled out my broomstick. It wuz balck and the twig bit at the end had red and balck lace on it. Darko smiled and pulled out his black MCR one. The rest of my frinds pulled out their brooms,

"but how will we find Azkaban?" Willow asked,

I smiled at her, "that is easy!" I pulled out my mordor's map, it wuz way better than frad and gorge's one because mine had everywhere on it.

So my frinds and I went outside and we all took off on our brooms sticks, mine had a cd palyer on it, so we listened to some MCR while we where flying,

Drako and I kissed a lot and we all smoked some drugs, none of us where scared at all becaue we r all fearless goffs and we had to make sure dat Volzexmort culd not destroy all de goffs. I knew dat Voldzemort wuz a prep and he wuld love to mak us all in2 preps, he wuz growing inside meh all the time and I needed dumbleore to help meh cope, he wuld know what to do even in he wuz a poser, he wuz still better than the preps.

We saw all de dementers flying about but dey let us past cause they thought that I wuz hot. Then suddenly a big scray goffick building appeared out of the mist…. It wuz…. AZCABUN!11!


	20. Chapter 20: MCR ROX 111 11!

Chapter 20

We went to the front dur and Draci used a spell on the guard and we went in. There where lots of lung balck corrdors, that weren't goffick and there wuz no one around.

"we shuld split up if we are to find Dumblydore!" Diabolo insisted,

"Wow," said Vampire, "that plan is so gud that it sounds lik something Enoby wuld say!"

I smelled at them "fangz!"

We all split up and whent different ways. I went with Draco, Diabolo went with B'loody Mary and Dark'ness and Vampire went together and Willow and Dracula went together.

We all went down different cordors, darko and I went down a really scary one, but we wheren't scared because we r goffs.

There wuz lotz of preppy people in de cells, then we fund an empty one and draco and I wnet inside, we sexily tok r cloths off, I wuz standing there in my leather bar and pants, darco was in his boxers, I saw the bulge in his boxers and we passively did it on the flour of the prison, then we feel asleep.

I woke up when I senced Willow sending me a vmpire telekanisis message, she told me and darko to meet them bak were we came into ascaban.

We puled our cloths on and ran sexily bak to the enterance, we met all our frinds there,

"did you find dumblydor?" B'loody Mary asked,

"No," I relpied,

"we lokked everywere!" darko replued.

"they must hav him somewere else," Dracula said pentagramly (gettit, instead of cross!1!1!),

"yeah," I muttered wisely, den we gut on r brumsticks and went bak to the skull.

Drako and me went and passively had sex for 3 hours, then there wuz a kock on the door and I answered it naked, it wuz b'loody Mary,

"you know the way Snoop banned MCR," I nodded,

"Well," she said, "they are having a secret concert in hogsmedde tonight!" I gasped.


	21. Chapter 21: Hogezmed

Chapter 21

My stomach wuz hurting a bit, but I diodn't care cos I wuz goin to see MCR, I put on a black corset wit purple lace and red fishnets and fuckin awesome red platinum boots. I met up wit Draco outsid, he wuz at his flying car and th number plate said ^666 on it, we got in and flew to hogsmed, wesmoked sum drugsd on the way there and when we landed we ran sexily over to the hall were the concert wuz being held. Darko wuz wearing a red and black mcr t-shitt wit black skater pants and congress shoes, he lokked so sexah, we went inside and went up to the mosh pit, it wuz so warm in the hall.

Gerrard Wai cam out on the stage and my stomach hurt more and I felt vera dizzy, I herd Gerard sing in his sexah voice, but I wuz swaying bak and forth and I wasn't evn tryin to dance.

I fell to the floor and every1 stepped bak to mak sure that I wuz ok, Gerrard wuz still singing, I felt my stomach get bigger and I had a vision of Volzexmort, "I shall soon arrive!" he howled, I screamed, drako lokked really worried, I felt some people try to pick meh up,

"darko! Vampire B'loody Mary! Dark'ness! Diabolo! Dracula!" I cried, The people where wearing balck robes but they weren't goffs, Draco and the rest of my frinds where screaming at them and I culd hear B'loody Mary screaming at them to leave meh alone, Suddenly I saw who the people where, they where… The Death Dealers!11! I fainted from the pains!11!


	22. Chapter 22: Prepicustotallicus 11!

Chapter 22

I woke up and I wuz surunded by the preppy death dealers, Beltrix wuz smiling creppily at meh, I felt pain you-no-were, I throwed ma hed bak and screamed sexily. Lucius wuz laughing, then suddenly I gave birth to da Bark Lurd!11! He cam out and stud up, we wuz all fully grown and all, he put his cloak on and he rubbed his preppy hands on his ugly face and smiled,

"I hath been birthed!" He sneered wisely.

"No!111!" I screamed, "You're a prep, you culdn't hav come from meh!11!"

"A prep?" He wondered evily,

"Prepicustotallitus!" he howled and pointed his wound at mah. I fell over and I heard Snap and Lumpkin laugh, but I didn't really mind, I sat up again and smiled at the death dealers,

"feel difrent?" Beltrix asked happily, I lokked up at her, I did fell different, I didn't care about MCR, I lukked at the cloths I wuz wearing and I felt weirdly disgusted.

"Totally!," I smelled at Beltrix,

"I do feel difrent!" I thought about darco, what a poser! I fouht about B'loody Mary, dam she seemed dumb! I wanted to chill wit difrent people and were normal cloths, then I realized, I wasn't a goff anymore, I wuz ….. a PREP!11! and I wuz ok wit it.


	23. Chapter 23: Prap

Chapter 23

I woke up in my coffin, "OMFG!" I screamed, "WTF am I doing in a coffin? Am I ded?" willow sat up and luked confused at meh,

"What do you mean?" she asked lokking confused,

"if I'm not dead, like, what am I doin in a coffin lol!" I replied as I got up,

I luked in my wardrobe, "ugh, everything is balck, I need some brighter colours!" I annoced wit a smile, "we should go shopping!" I told Willow,

"enoby, you hav been acting really strangely since you got kidnapped by the death dealers last nite, did they do anything to you?" willow asked sadly,

"they improved me, totally!" I laughed, Willow lokked realla suprsed,

"Come on Willow, let's like totally go shopping!111!" I laughed,

"Hot Topic?" she asked,

"Ew, no!11! Let's go to Topshop!" I laughed, Willow stumbled bak in shock,

"What is it?" I smiled,

"You r… you cant be, you're a ….. PREP!111!" Willow ran out of the room in tears. I went into hogsmed in the least goffick cloths I could find and I bought some new cloths, I met up wit Hairgrid, Hannah and Mark, they helped me pik some new cloths and they helped meh paint my room pink in hogwars!11!

I saw the goffs who where ment to be my frinds in the grate hall, but I sat wit Hairgrid, Hannah and Mark because they understand meh better, Draco lokked like such a poser in his black leather Jackson and his skater pants,

"Enoby," hairgrid said, putting his gentle hand on mine, "I love you, will ou be my gf?" he asked wit tears in his eyes,

"Yes!11!" I cried, then we kissed each other, his soft lips on mine, it wuz like so totally nice. I lukked ova and I saw Darko cutting his rists, what a drama queen.

Mark and Hannah where really nice too and they introduced meh to some new musics, it's way better than all that MCR rubbish!11!

I went up to my rioom, where my new frinds had helped me get new pink furniture and a proper bed, I invited Hairgrid in, "Oh Enoby, I do not expect this of you!" he said and kissed meh goodnite b4 he wnet bak to his own room, I sat on my bed and wondered about the recent events, then Willow came ino my room, she started to cry at what she saw,

"Eboby!" she howled, as she ran out of the room, "You are a PREP!11!"


	24. Chapter 24: Nu Life

Chapter 24

I woke up in my bed th next moring, lite flooded in through my open curtains and I smelled at seing the knew morning. I put on a white shirt, pink mini-skirt and pink high heels, on the waay out of my room I ran into Vampire, but I insisted on calling him Harry.

"I had a vison last nite," he said, I nodded, "what about?" I smiled,

"Volzexmort, the Bark Lurd has taken over the mystery of mogic and he is planning to execute Dumblydore 2moro." He said conerndly,

"aww," I croned, "dat is vera sad, but we r just little Hogwarts students, so we can't do anything about it!"

"We may be Hogwarts students!" he wailed, "but we are also Satanists!"

"That's very nice" I replied, "now if you wil excuse meh, I am going to met cagrid, we are going to see Morrissey in concert in hogsmede!"

"Enoby! Please!1!" he screamed after meh as I went down to the grate hall.

I sat wit Hairgrid, Hannah and Mark, "For you being r new friend, I want to give you this!" Hannah said as she gave meh an Adam Ant record, he lokked so hot,

"thank you!" I smiled.

"the conert today shuld be gud," mark said wit a leer. All the stupid goffs where glaring at us, it wuz while annoying.

2 hours later we headed down to the concert. Morrissey wuz amazing and he lokked really hot for a middle-aged man, he sang "Suedehead" and a whole load of other gud ones, then suddenly some stupid goffs pushed their wy onto the stage, it wuz …. Darco and Vampire!11!


	25. Chapter 25:Were der will ders gerard wai

Chapter 25

Darko pulled the micropone off Morrissey, who then stormed off the stage angrily after slapping Vampire.

"Enoby!" he called to meh, I wuz so embarrassed, he wuz ruining the hole concert, everyone turned and lokked at meh, I hated bein the centre of attention!11! "I love you!" he screamed, then he started to sing some MCR song, that he wrongly thought I wuld lik

"what a poser," I heard Mark mutter wisely,

"You are a fuckin poser!" I screamed at Draco, every1 starrted to boo them and throw stuff at them, Draco and Vampir started to cry and jumped off the satge and all the people chased them out of the hall.

Morrissey didn't come bak on, so we all had to leave, Mark, Hannah and Hairgrid decided to hang out in hogsmede for a wile, so I walked bak to hogwars by myself, I kept thinking I herd people waliking behind meh, but I culd see no1.

I went up to my room, I wuz upset by what had happened, Drago and vampire burst in2 my room, they had followed meh bak from the concert. I stod up,

"Get out of my room!" I said angrily,

"Eboby, you hav become a prep!" Drako whined,

"Mayb I hav, but a least I don't hav to hang out wit you anymore, you stupid poser goffs!" I screamed,

"Flipendo!" vampire screamed as he pointed his wound at meh, I fell to the floor,

"Vampire! I hate you!" I screamed, both of them lokked really shocked as I gut up,

"Ebony, I know something that will tun u bak to normal!" Darko said as he handed meh his phone, it wuz ringing, I answered it,

I herd a man's voice "hello," he said,

"who is this?" I asked,

"gerrard wai," he replied,

"I used to lik u, but I dun't anymore!" I told him,

"This isn't about u or meh, it is about the world and how it needs u to save it," as I herd him say all this, I wuz thinking, his voice sounded quite sexah and as we spoke I looked Darko in the eye,

"Enoby!" Gerreard said, "You need to be a perfect goff and save albert dumblydore!" he said,

I smiled sexily over at Darko, "it's ok, I will."


	26. Chapter 26: Deff

Chapter 26

My mind suddenly went bak to normal "Oh my satan, you guys!11! I am so fukin sorry!" I told them, "I dun't no what I wuz thinking!"

"Da Durk Lurd put a curse on you, I saw it in a vison," vampire sounded.

"dat those xplain it, I wuld neva be a stupid prep!" I howled.

Draco said "scabbers!" and pointed his wund at my room and it turned all gud and goffick again.

"we haff to go down to the grate hall and tell everyone that u r a goff again!" Vampire fused,

"ok," I said and we ran sexily down to the garte hall.

I sat wit my goffs, Hannah, Mark and Hairgrid lokked over at meh,

"hey Eboby!" Cagrid called, "what are you doing?" I gut up and walked ova to him,

"I never loved u, ur a prep!" I screamed, Hairgrid lokked shocked, "I luv Darko maloy!" I screamed, all the goffs cheered and the presp lokked annoyed,

"Crookshanks!" B'loody Mary screamed and the preps flew to the floor.

Snoop ran into the room,

"how dare you insult the preps, they are far supiror to u, you trivial imbiciles!"

"Shut up snoope!11!" all us goffs screamed,

Snap smiled creppily and held his wand up in the air, suddenly these balck shadows flew in and turned into people, it wuz Volzexmort and the DEATH DEALERS!11!1!1!111!


	27. Chapter 27: Deff Dealers

Chapter 27

All us goffs gasps and all the preps cheered,

Hannah and Mark ran up to deh Deathe Dealers, "canwe join you?" they begged,

Beltrix smiled at them, "You 2 luk perfect 4 being death dealers!"

"Beltrix you prep!" I screamed,

"ah Enoby, I am so oveer you now!" she sneered. The death dealers and the preps started to shot spells at us,

"now I shallt finally killith Vampire Potter!" Volzexmoirt laughed,

"we hav to get out of here!" Datkn'ness wailed.

We all ran towards the door of the hal, suddenly I saw a poster for that stupid preppy film, Da Grinch, so I set it on fire and used magic to make it fly and hit snope in the face,

"the Grinch is for praps!11!1!" I screamed sexily.

We ran out the door and we all went outside,

"what are we going to do?" screamed Dracuka,

"we hav to get dumblydore bak!" B'loody Mary said,

"yeah, but we don't know were he is!" Vampire cired,

I luked at Darko,

"Well," he said, "when meh and enoby where trying to find him, we didn't luk, we just had sex instead!" Darco cronned,

Willow lokked shocked, "We'd better go get him then!11!"


	28. Chapter 28: Albert Dumblydor

Chapter 28

We all got on our broms sticks quickly cos the preppy death dealers where coming after us, so we flew all the way to azcaban really fast, because we r so gud at flying. We flewed past all the dementors and we landed at the door, we duled wit the guard, we defeted him easily because we r really gud at all that kind of thing.

We wen in the front dur and we went duwn the same corridor that Darko and meh had u-no-wat in the last time we wuz here, we fund Dumbleore in the cell nxt 2 de 1 that darko and I had sex in.

"oh dumblydore!" Dark'ness dripped.

We opened the door and let him out.

"why didn't u rescue meh b4 u mutherfuckers?" crumblore ruined crossly.

"because we neva had the chance!" I rutted angrily, "nuw cum bak to hogwats now so that we can get rid of de Death Dealers and Volzexmort!"

"Voldymort is bak?" Dumblelore howled,

"Yeah," moaned B'loody Mary, "get wit the times Dumbldero!"

"well I hav been locked in the azcabans for a wile!" he wailed,

"oh I'm sorry," dyumblydore said, "I have a hedache, it maks meh swear!"

"it's ok albert," diabolo relied, "now let's go!"

Darko and I had to share a boomstick so that Dumblewhore culd hav 1, so Darco and I had sex in the heir and it wuz really awesome nd goffick!1!

Wen we arrived bak at the skull (gettit) we saw a lot of scray people waiting 4 us…. It wuz Voldedort and de Death Dealers!11!11!1!1!111!


	29. Chapter 29: Snoop

Chapter 29

"We can't land here!" dorko wailed, "the durth dealers wil get us!"

"ok," I said and I signellled to ma goffs to go and land in the astrology tower.

We all flew over and landed, but Snoop and Lumpkin were there so we all had to hid. But stupid dumblydore walked out and said hello to snope and loopin.

"oh my satan, wtf is he doing?" hissed Vampire as Snoop and Loopin glared at Dumblydore.

"I dun't know!" I misted wisely,

"we hav to do dis 4 da bark lurd!" Snoop yelled, he pulled out his wand!11!

Dumblydire lokked ova at us and smiled, Snope and Lumpkin still hadn't seen us.

I held ma brath and wundered abut wat wuz going to happen, Snap wuz lokking really angry at Dumbllore. Willow lokked ova at meh, "rn't u going to do anything?" she hissed.

I shook ma hed, Dumblelore had smiled at us, he wuldn't hav smiled if he wunted to liv!1!

Snap raised his wound and pointed it at dumblydore.

"Sevirus please!" Dumblydore cronned

"Crookshanks!11!" Snoop shooted.


	30. Chapter 30: Deff of Dumblydore

Chapter 30

A big light came out of snoop's wand and hit Dumblydore, he fell out the window and we herd his body hit da grund below, I herd snoop and lumpkin laugh as they walked away.

"They killed dumblydore!" Darko screamed at us,

"I know!" Dark'ness wined,

We all sneked out of the tower,

"well that wuz a waist of time, saving Dumblydore!" Vampire howled,

Darco lokked sad, we all walked bak to the commun rum and we told every1 that Dumblydore wuz ded. No1 really seemed to care cos they all thought dat he wuz a poser and a prep, he wuz a bit of a poser and a prep, but he probably wuld hav known how to stop the Bark Lurd.

I led Darko and all ma frinds to ma rum so dat we culd chat.

"We has to stop da bark lurd r he wil destroy all da goffs!" I moaned,

Darko nodded, "I no dat u will be able 2 do it Enoby."

All my frinds agreeded.

"And now dat Dumblydore is ded, it is up 2 us!" B'loody Mary posted.


	31. Chapter 31: Da requrst of Voldymorte

Chapter 31

We put on Vampire's unvisablity coke and we went down to the grate hall, we saw Volzexmort and the Dweath Dealers!1!1!

Some of the preps where satnding wit them and I wanted to kill dem, but I new dat I had to here wat Da Dork Lord wuld say, he had his preppy snake wit him.

"I thank thou all for joining meh," The Bark Lurd started, "I need young wizrds and witches lik thou selves to help meh to defeat all da goffs that art ruining the wizarding world,"

All the preps cheered, all the goffs must hav been hiding somewere cos I culdn't c profeser sinister, she must hav hid somewere.

"Ebony Dementia Darkness Raven Way is the only person who has a chance of defeating meh, so she must be destroyed, but by meh, I shall returnst to this skull to destroyth her, until then, thou all must pretend that none of dis has happened. Thou must prentend that thou does nut no that I planth to destroy her."

Then suddenly Volzexmort and his Death Dealers turned into smok and disaperared!1!1!

All us goffs where shocked!1!


	32. Chapter 32: DArco is turken away 11!

Chapter 32

Us goffs went bak up to the common rum and we told the rest of da people in slytherin dat the preps want to kill us goffs, they where all really angry, but then we had to go to class with preoffeser sinister.

"konichiwa every1," she said, but she didn't luk as happy as usual.

B'loody Mary glared ova at the preps Hairgrid, Mark and Hannah.

"Yous and the Bark Lurd want 2 kill us goffs!1!" she screamed wisely,

"Wat r u talking about?" mark laughed evily,

"We herd u and Volzexmort planning!" I snerred smartly,

All the preps gasped when I said u-no-who's nam,

"We aren't scared 2 say his nam!11!" darko mused,

The praps all lokked annoyed,

"nuw class we are going to leran about hengest of woodcroft…" Sinister started smartly, then suddenly Snoop and Lumpkin burst in.

"you ridiculous imbecilies!" Snap stated, "I am the new hedmaster of the Hogwarts."

"No!11!" screamed Darko, "not again!11!"

Looping glared at Drako, "come wit meh boyo."

Draco luked really pentagram (gettit, instead of cross!11!1!), he gut out of his seat and walked towards Lumkin, who garbbed him and tuk him away.

"Nut darko!11!" I screamed sexily, "were r u taking him!1!1!" I howled hotly at Snoop.

Snope sneered wisely, "he iz being taken to the dunguns 4 his bad behavors!1!1!"

I watched helpless as Darko wuz dragged awayed.


	33. Chapter 33: Dungun Darco

Chapter 33

Fangz 4 all deh good reviuws, I noe how to speel Snap! Stup flammin!111!

I wen to ma coffin dat nite aloned, Darko had nut come bak. Willow tried to confort meh, but I wuz 2 upseted.

"We'll get him bak, dun't worray!" she said solumly,

I smelled weekly at her, but I wuz 2 worried, I slept realla bad that nite, I had a vision of darko all aloned in the dungun, so in the middle of the nite I gut out of bed and woked up Willow.

"We ned to resue Drako!11!" I told her quite.

"okay," she said as she opned her forest gren eyes.

We gut B;loody Mary, Dark'ness, Diabolo and Dracula, then we we nut of the commun rum and went duwn 1 of the hall ways.

"So Enboy," said diabolo wisely, "where is da Dungun?"

I paused smartly, "I dun't no!11!" I wailed,

All my frinds lukked at meh,

"wat r we going to do?" asked Dark'ness,

"Dun't worray," B'loody Mary said, "I rember dat we had potins class der in the 1st yer of the skull,"

"I must hav 4gotten because I wuz so worrayed about darko!11!" I said proudly.

B'loody Mary showed us to dis door that wuz all old luking, but it wuz locked!11!

B'loody Mary casted a spell onto it, "Otterweasel!11!" she shooted as she pointed her wound at it.

The dor creeked opened and we all went threw the dur and we heard a strange sound!11!

We all stopped and listened, it wuz someone scraming!11!

I listened wit care and I new who is wuz, it wuz Darko, screaming 4 meh!11!


	34. Chapter 34: deh vilest deed

Chapter 34

I went to scream bak at him, to tell him dat I wuz cming to resue him, but Diabolo stopped meh,

"Snoop mite still be wit him and we dun't want him noing dat we r down here yet!" he insisted with style.

I nodded and continued walking towards the sund of Darko, the walls wuz covered in chains and there were doors to other rooms dat lukked lik they hadn't ben used in days.

Finally we gut to a door that said "Perfosser Snoop's Potiun class" and I culd her Drako scraming frum behind it.

"enoby!" he wailed, "Eboby! Pleas help meh!11!"

Dark'ness opened the door slowly, the dur creeked, but darko's screaming wuz louder than it.

We all peaked around it, I saw Loopin sitting at a desk wit his camera and he wuz videoing, I luked up and I saw Darko, he wuz covered in chains and he wuz all tied to the wall, he wuz still screaming for meh, because he luvs meh so much and we neva got to see each other last nite cos he gut taken to the dungons and I was really annoyed because I wanted to hav S.E.X wit him.

He lukked so smexah because he wuz crying (dun't u just luv sensitive bi guys?11! Homophones r gay!11!).

But then I saw wat wuz happening to him, he wuz crying cus he wuz getting raped…. By Snape111!11!


	35. Chapter 35: 2gedder agin

Chapter 35

I gasped wen I saw this, I new that Snoop wuld try to rap hinm again111!1

I ran sexily into the rum and used a spell on Loopin that made him get tied up by chains.

"noo!11!" he howled as he got tied up.

Darko lukked up and smiled, "Enboy!11! you cam to rescue meh!11!"

Snoop luked up from what he wuz doin, "you incridulus dunderhed, you do not know what you are doin11!1!"

I used a spell on him to make him get away from Darko and Dark'ness tied Snap up in chains, then I ran ova to Drake and untied him, he cried sexily onto my shulder and I hugged him.

"The Bark LUrd willl get u 4 dis!11!" snoap howled from the chains.

I led Drako bak up to my rum, he wuz really sad and tired lukin,

"What is rong?" I asked him,

"It's not fair Enoby!11!" he moaned wisely, "every1 wants to hav sex wit meh and rape meh, wen all I wants to do is cut ma rists and be wit u nobye, I luv u," 

"I know," I pruned softly, "satan mad us 2 perfect, so every1 wants us, but we can just hav each other, dat is gud enough 4 us." I smiled at him.

I led him to my coffin, then we tuk our cloths off passively and I pulled hi8m in2 the coffin and we did it passively to a linkin parc song, it wuz so amazing.

Then we fell asleep in each other's arms and I slep well, even though I new that I had a difficult mission ahed of meh, I had to stop the Bark Lurd Volzexmort!11!1!


	36. Chapter 36: wut can dey do?

Chapter 36

I wuk up and Drake wuz gone, for a minute I fought that snope wuz raping him again, but I new that we had Snap tied up in the dunguns.

I gut out of coffin and put on a goffick red korset dress that wuz low cut, it had balck and purple lace on it and it reached my mid thigh, I put on pruple rippd fishnets and balck high heels.

Willow gut out of her coffin and put on this black floor length goffic dress that had a slit up the side and all dis korst stuff on the front.

"You luk kawii bitch!11!" I mused happily,

She smelled at meh, "Nut as kawii as you!111!"

We put on some MCR and I lukked at my awesome MCR posters and I nearly had an organiasm because Gerrard and Mikey Way r so hot.

Suddenly B'loody Mary came into the rum, she wuz wearing a black lace-up studded korset, thigh-high tights wit skuls on dem, these black wit red stich boots and a black zipper grommet pencil skrit. She luked really worried.

"wat is wrong?" Willo asked her siriusly.

"Snap and Loopin gut out of the dungun and we r all in big trouble!" B'loody Mary cruised.

I laughed, "What can snoop and Lumpkin do anyway?" I pumpkined smartly,

"he says we hav 2 met him in da grate hall, now1!1!" B'loody Mary wailed.


	37. Chapter 37: deh virson

Chapter 37

We all walked slowly to the grate hall, I wuz wile worried about wat snoopin wuld say, we walked in and all the preps where sitting at their table and Snoop and Lumpkin Where at the front of the hall.

"ah you hav arrived," Loopin laughed as we walked up to the goof table and sat down.

"now," sneered Snoop, "if you want to live, you must become a prep, if you want to die remain as a goff."

Some of the lesser gofs lik frud and gorge gut up and went ova to the prep table, but us proper goff stayed, soon it wuz only meh, Darko, B'loody Mary, Willow, Diabolo, Dark'ness, Vampire and Dracula.

B'loody Mary luked worried,

"dun't worray," I told her, "we will be fine, we will defeat these preps!11!"

"we haff to get out of here!11!" Dark'ness moaned,

We all luked towards the door, but suddenly all these locks formed on it, snap and Looping laughed.

Suddenly I had a vision, it wuz of volzexmort flying through the air, he wuz laughing and waving his preppy arms around, he luked so preppy and annoying, he wuz wit his death dealers.

Suddenly the window at the top of the grate hall broke and in flew some preppy people. It wuz … voldymort and the Death Dealers!1!1!


	38. Chapter 38: passive luv

Chapter 38

We all stood up from r table and luked shocked, all the preps where cheering.

Hannah and Mark ran up to the Death Daelers, Voldemorts smiled evily at him.

"welcum my lurd!11!" snap leered at the bark lurd.

Voldemort and his death dealers landed on the ground and the dork lurd luked down at meh,

"we metist again young enoby!11!" Voldzemort said evily.

"I will kill you agin!11!" I screamed sexily,

All my goffs luked happy at meh, drako kissed meh passively and all the preps booed.

"there is no time for pathtic luv!11!" beltrix screamed, "we must destroy dis bitch!11!

The bark lurd smiled at her, "beltrix, I doth admire thou's bloodlust!11!"

"she is rite, we must destroy Ebony Darkness Demintia Raven Way! She locked meh and snoop in the dunguins!11!" Lumpking snailed miserably.

"I doth not care for dat, Loopin," the bark lurd leered, "we must destroyth her because she ist the greatest goff the world hast eva seened!11!"

Every1 in the hall gasped.


	39. Chapter 39: Nut afrad

Chapter 39

"and that Vampire boyo killed r bestest frind!11!" Hannah and Mark wailed,

"Inded!" the bark lurd smelled, "the goffs hav done much rong!1! 4 dat they must die!1!"

The bark lurd pulled out his wound and I puled out mine and pointed it at him, "crookshanks!11!" I shooted and the bark lurd fell to the ground and started to cry, I felt bad even thoughr I am a sadst, so I stoped,

"I fooled thou!11!" he leered and used a spell on meh, I fell over, but I soon got up again,

"thou seeist," he leered, "I am stronger dis time cos thou givth birth to meh!11!"

"I helped create you, so then I can destroy you!1!" I screamed and all my goffs came to my side,

"We will help you Enoby!11!" vampire said wisely,

All the preps ran to Voldemort's side, "We will help you Voldemort,we love you!" all the prps screamed,

Beltrix leered at meh, "I dun't lik you anymore Enoby!1!" she laughed,

"Dun't worray about her," Diabolo said kindly, "we still think that you are the most amazing and sexah girl ever Tara."

"we will fight," Willow smiled, "and we will win!1!"


	40. Chapter 40: Lucious

Chapter 40

AN: stup flaming!111! I no how to smel Snope!1!

Darko saw his dad standing there, "dad!1!" he screamed, "you can't be a death dealer!1!"

"I hav already told ur beautiful frind Eboby there dat I am," he leered bak,

Drako started to cry cos he is sensitive and bi, Vampuire comforted him, then they started to kiss, it wuz reallt hot but I wuz jealous, I used a spell on them to make them go apart, they both threwed themselves to the grund,

"oh Enoby!11!" they both cried, "we neva meant to cheat on u!111!"

"it doesn't mater now!11!" I told them, "all dat maters is defeting the Bark Lurd11!"

Willow pointed her wound at lucius,

"you deserve to dy 4 wat u haff done to Drako!1!" she shooted, "u upset him so much by being eviled!1!"

Lucius laughed at her, but he stopped laughing wen she used the crookshanks curse on him and he fell to the grund ded.

The bark lurd lukked down at him, then stepped 4ward, all the death dealers and preps lukked shocked, I gav darko and Wilo a high5.

Mark ran at Vampire and Vampire ran towards him, Mark puled out his preppy wand,

"expecto partum!1!" mark shuted at vampire,

a big see-through goat flew at vampire and nocked him to the grund, Mark started to laugh and ran and gave Hannah a high5, all the death dealers laughed at Vampirue lying on the ground, struggling to gut up.

The Bark Lurd pointed at Vampire,

"Enoby, remberst I toldst thou to killst Vampire Potter, thou must do it now, or I shall killst thou beloved draco!11!" he leered.

I gasped


	41. Chapter 41: Willuw deh brave

Chapter 41

"how wuld u do dat!11!" I screamed at the bark lurd,

He put out his preppy hand and drako wuz pulled apentagram (gettit) to him, he grabbed darko and put his wand to his thrut.

"I cant!11!" I screamed as Mark's patronus charm goat ran ova to Vampire and started to rape him,

The Bark Lurd laughed and Drako strated to cry, Willow ran oer to Vampire and got rid of the goat and helped him up,

"No goffs wil die today!11!" she screamed strongly,

The dork lord luked shocked, darko kicked the bark lurd u-no-were and he screamed, darko ran bak over to meh and we kissed passively.

"enboy!," he smelled, "we wil destroy the praps 2gether,"

"2gether," I agreded.

The bark lurd wuz still cluching his crotch wen darko and meh luked over at him, then he stud up strait and smelled evily.

"You no wat," Beltrix laughed, "you wuld all make such gud preps!11!"

I stumbed bak and pulled out my wund,

"U tak dat bak, you preppy bitch!111!" I screamed sexily,

The Bark Lurd tuk out his wnad,

"now it is time for thou all to die!11!"


	42. Chapter 42: in da face

Chapter 42

There wuz a huge battle, the grate hall wuz getting trashed and the preps where dying everywere, but voldymort kept laughing wit his death dealers, there wuz way more of them than there wuz of us, I clung to Darko's hand and frenched him passively.

My fishnets were getting ripped and there wuz blud everywere, but I didn't mind cos I'm a Satanist.

I saw Beltrix laughing as she did a curse on Dark'ness,

I ran over to Beltrix and hit her in da face, she stared at meh before she laughed again and hit meh bak, there where curses and spells flying all about the rum, I ran bak from Beltrix and pulled Dark'ness off the flur from were she had fallun,

"Dun't worray about meh enoby, you have to defet the Bark Lurd!1!" she said as she stood up.

Vampire wuz fighting Hannah, he wuz trying really hard, but she wuz powerful for a prep, I ran behind her and she wuz too busy laughing at Vampire to see meh,

"Abra kedabra!1!" I shooted and she fell to the ground,

"you poser bitch…." She muttered b4 diing to deff.

I gav Vampire a high5 and we startd attacking Mark, who wuz also a powerful prep, he used the opatronus again and the goat started to try and chase us but I killed it easily,

"You bitch!11!" he said, "you shuld just giv up you no!11"

"Neva!1!" I screamed passively before using crookshanks on him and he fell to the ground ded.

Suddenly, I wuz smaked in the face wit something brown, it wuz… da sorting hat!11!11!11!


	43. Chapter 43: Hulp

Chapter 43

We had killed the preps and now we just had to kill the death dealers, Voldymort wuz still laughing, B'loody Mary used Abra Kedavra on him, but it didn't even hurt him!11! he just laughed moar!11!

I picked up the sorting hat, a book fell out of it dat said "diary" on it, I truned to Wilo,

"Y did the hat giv meh dis?" I wailed wisely,

"I dun't no bitch, but u luk kawii," she smelled,

Suddenly prosffesser sinister burst into the room wit sierious black and they ran up to us,

"we are here to help the goffs!11" they said happily,

Sirius started to fight wit The death dealers and I spoke to sinister,

"Y did the hat giv meh dis diary!" I asked wisely,

"Dat hat gives stuff to goffs dat need stuff!11!" she told meh drawerly,

I nodded

"I think it wil help u defet the bark lurd!11!" she said,

"How?" I asked,

"I dun't no LOL!11!" she replied,

She ran off 2 help serius fite against snip and loopin who where being pervs and staring at meh, I ran over to Darko and we frenched,

"I luv u enoby!11" he said happily,

I felt some1 tap my shoulder, I thought it wuz dark'ness r b'loody Mary, but I turned round and it wuz…. DA BARK LURD VOLZREXMOTRE!11!


	44. Chapter 44: buk

Chapter 44

I had a super awsom fuckin duel wit him, but I culdn't sem to defet him because he wuz lik invisbale or something, I had my wund in 1 hand and the buk in the other,

"wat ist dat buk 4?" the dork lard asked,

"I dun't no," I said wisely as I blocked 1 of his curses sexily,

We duled some moar and I wuz really gud, but so wuz he, soon every1 in the hall wuz watching, snoop and lumpkin and beltrix where chairing on Voldsecmort and all my goffs where chairing for meh.

Suddenly I hit the bark lurd in the foot wit the crookshanks charm and he stumbled forward,

"the book!111!" screamed Dracula,

And I luked at the buk in my hand and I brught in firmly down onto the dark lurd's face,

"NOOOO!11!" he scramed and he wuz sucked in2 the buk, the whole rum went quite.

The death dealers luked at each other and all the goffs luked at each other, then the death dealers screamed and turned into smok and flew away.

I garbbled drako and kissed him passively and we frenched passively too, all the goffs chaired.

I still had the buk and we all walkd bak to our commoun rum.

I wuz soo tired dat I gut in2 my coffin and went to selp…


	45. Chapter 45: Da end xxxxx

Chapter 45

I wuk up in ma coffin and put on a halter mini dress korstet thing dat wuz black and hot pink wit black lace and I put on thight high sox and black platinum shoes and a pure mourning veil dat wuz balck and red fishnut gloves.

I put on my Balck parde cd and dat woke up Willow and she put on a ripp hole dress dat wuz black, lace long gloves dat where black and wit pink lace, leg avenue spider web tights.

We went out to the common room and I saw Darko, he wuz wearing a black duffle coat wit red buttons and a MCR s-shirt and blue and black delta pants and balck congress shoes, he luked so hot.

We all went duwn to the grate hall because we were so worried about the new hedmaster of the skull, the grate hall had ben all tied up and we sat at the goff table, there were lik no preps left.

"Who's gonna be the new hedmaster?" Dracula asked wisely to meh,

I went to answer, but suddenly Sinister burst into the room,

"It is I!11!" she laughed,

All us goffs chaired and Profeser Sinister became the new hedmaster of hogwars.

Da End!111!


End file.
